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premier league fan stereotypes

You’ve got the old-school fans, and you’ve also got the glory hunters. US isn’t producing enough high level players? There’s a special kind of desperation for attention that feels singular to the Gooners and the whole thing is exhausting and I want it to end. These are the fans that I have the utmost respect for. }()). People forget that Chelsea went 60 years without winning a league title. opst.async = true; Berhalter must call in rosters made up of at least 70% MLS players and gets paid bonuses if a certain number of MLS players are in the starting lineup. Mickey Mouse. We all know at least one, don’t we? They don’t even know how to lace up their boots and get out onto the pitch properly.” They’ll argue to the death about the 2. Poverty and hunger? After all, the US is a unique sporting environment and just because the rest of the world does is differently doesn’t mean we have to. *starts sobbing and runs away*, Mortal Enemy: Red from Shawshank Redemption, The players we have coming up are like nothing we have seen in the US before. (function () { document.getElementsByTagName('body')[0]).appendChild(opst); "https:" : "http:"; Do you value the capital one cup? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyitFl_oggY, The bitter fans, currently known as Petr Cech haters. Finally ready for a weekend kickabout? Visibility. Stop it. ), Pride – “Remember a little team called The Invincibles? As a West Ham fan, I can only admit to defeat, slumped at my desk with a cup of tea and the faint ringing of “We won the World Cup! If you’re reading this you probably ... *Deep breath* I’ve been studying. I’d almost feel sorry for them if they weren’t so unbelievably bad. I’m still bewildered to this day. With that in mind, here are five types of Chelsea fan who no one wants to be…. Envy – Arsenal fans can’t seem to bring themselves to accept anyone else winning anything. Pro/rel would provide an endless supply of jobs and food for any country that institutes pro/rel. If I have to hear about The Treble one more time from a bloke with a “Hated, adored, never ignored” tattoo, I’m going to download SkyScanner, book two tickets for a flight to Puebla, Mexico – one for me and one for a giant bag of rocks – and rent a car to the Popocatépetl volcano – the second most dangerous volcano in the world; the first is Vesuvius but I’ve been to Italy and I’ve never been to Mexico – and then hire a Mexican sherpa to take me up and then tip him a 20 and then grab the bag of rocks and just throw myself into the fiery pit of hell. Some Might Say this is Definitely Maybe the best Oasis songs list. If you have spent any time on Twitter, Reddit, BigSoccer, or any number of other places where US Soccer fans can interact you may have noticed certain themes. We won the World Cuuuup!” in my ears, carving “The West Ham Way is not a thing” onto my desk while watching yet more videos of our fans trying to tear their own stadium apart. After much hand-wringing, deliberating, and abacus-instruction-reading, what follows is the objectively correct ranking of every Premier League team in order of their fans’ awfulness, with the “winner” as it were, coming dead last. These are the guys/girls that couldn’t possibly be bothered to watch an MLS game because, “The standard is too low, mate. Seriously, this was sad and hilarious all rolled into one. He’s 33 years old, and is never going to get in ahead of a 23 year old keeper, who’s also one of the best in the world. I hear there’s 14 year old in the NYRB academy that’s a can’t miss prospect. opst.src = os_host + '//' + 'www.opinionstage.com/polls/2284230/embed.js'; The one that claims to have “supported them my whole life” or “I supported them before Abramovich”, but really, they supported them when they started tearing the Premier League a new one with their money and talent on show. I couldn’t even comprehend it. They used to be into Stanley Knives and bulldogs and now they’re all nouveau riche and pretend none of that ever happened, like that aunt who goes to a fancy gym now and has abs as hard as her consonants and pretends she didn’t get kicked out of your mum’s wedding for scrapping. They despised Frank Lampard last season as well, and won’t even hear his name mentioned, despite you know, all those goals and trophies, and now Lampard has finally departed for the MLS, they’ve turned their attentions to new Arsenal recruit Petr Cech. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Look at the roster from the 2007 U20 World Cup. I often wonder why Arsenal fans are so terrible, and then realise it’s futile: maybe all football fans are bad and Arsenal are simply the purest manifestation of its ID, embracing each of its sins with two-footed gusto: Lust – Have you ever read Alexis/Mesut/Flamini slash-fiction? I literally forgot Watford were in the Premier League until just now. This is one of my favorites. Once these guys are done with the Olympic team they are going to integrate seamlessly into the senior team and then…watch out. Really, you can’t blame Chelsea fans for going a bit overboard with their Munich celebrations – at least it’s in the last decade unlike United’s win in 1999 – and given they were robbed on more than one occasion in the Champions League, it must have felt like eight years of goals that never were and f*cking disgraces against Barcelona had all finally paid off. All Boro fans want to do is reminisce about how they used to have loads of Brazilians and then tell you about how long it takes them to get to pretty much any other stadium in the league, and I admire their purity. You’ve got the old-school fans, and you’ve also got the glory hunters. FA Cup? Frequently caught using British slang in posts while their profile reveals they were born and raised in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. How difficult must it be to be tarnished with the same ‘glory-hunting’ brush as with most of their fans nowadays? A Champions League trophy. This song. Then, just five months later, he’s sacked. Some of them only started to clue on to what a sure thing it is to support the Blues following Jose Mourinho’s appointment and first couple of trophies, which says it all. We were so good, nobody even came close (in the league, only) and that definitely makes us the greatest team of all time (in the league, that season; the season we went unbeaten… in the league).”. “Actually, Zubeldia is the one that gave Marcelo Bielsa the idea to…” This merry band of fans thoroughly appreciate Michael Bradley. Plus Dave in the office says that they were trying to help save Leyton Orient from administration, so the Patron Saint of Lost Causes gets some serious respect for that. They didn’t want Claudio to go even though he’d made them really, really crap and also, this one time I went to interview a bunch of their fans at a Crystal Palace game, and they let me get into the away end with them and one fella shared his cheesy chips with me. Possibly the oldest and most venerated of the niche fan groups. And, rather surprisingly, they don’t all mention money. Some real Sliding Doors stuff. We were robbed. For the ones that went through such a dry spell it must be refreshing, yet frustrating at the same time. Bundesliga being a higher level of play than MLS and there’s no changing their mind. I actually quite like Liverpool fans – some of my best friends are Liverpool fans!!! Got a soccer related problem? You bought that. I’m happy that they’re happy that they’re in the league but they’ll be relegated next year and that will be the true test of their character. Just for the record, it’s up there with one of my favourite Champions League triumphs. After much hand-wringing, deliberating, and abacus-instruction-reading, what follows is the objectively correct ranking of every Premier League team in order of their fans’ awfulness, with the “winner” as it were, coming dead last. These rejected Bond songs are for your ears only. They will gladly tell you how poor the US is at soccer and how much further the real “football countries” are ahead of us. Since Chelsea have had this season’s league title sewn up for quite some time now, we thought we’d find the prize nobody wants to win by asking the question everyone has thought about: of all of the teams in the Premier League, which fans are the worst? Pro/rel takes care of it. All rights reserved. Yes, football relies on money in the modern game, but being one of the first clubs in the Premier League to ‘buy’ the Premier League title, I can’t imagine how the traditionalist Chelsea supporters feel out there. Remember when we went an entire (league) season unbeaten? Norwich: Yokels that drive their combine Harvester to matches. Make him your cup of tea! He brought to the club what the great man himself, Jose Mourinho, couldn’t. And Fergie was good, true, but don’t call him “gaffer” - you’re from Loughborough. ¯_(ツ)_/¯. I have. Honestly, I’m yet to meet a bad City fan. For those calling his head at the time…. League Cup? These are your best options. Top boys. Well there was that time when Aaron Ramsey had his ankle cut off and all the Stoke lads cheered plus I’m sure I’ve seen one of their fans wearing a Charlie Adam shirt before so they’re lucky to make it this high. Believe it or not, there are even more stereotypes to a Chelsea fan than you’d initially think. Ooh, what about Sherringham! Greed – LET SOMEONE ELSE WIN THE GOAL OF THE SEASON VOTE, YOU MUGS. All these theories are freely available if you spend a moment browsing one of the above mentioned virtual soccer think tanks. How can this man be hated for continuing his career? I’m sure this will go really well. This clan of brave warriors is convinced that US Soccer is a sleeping giant ready to be roused by the threat of relegation. As with every set of fans, there are some downright crazy ones and some that embarrass the club on a weekly basis – oh, and others who couldn’t even name half of the starting line-up, because let’s be honest, they don’t really follow football.

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